Perpetual Disappointment

Is God perpetually disappointed in me?

What an odd question. Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever think that God is always disappointed in you?

I have and do sometimes. Maybe it's because there are times that I am acutely aware of how sinful I am. There are so many clear scriptures about the horror that is my sin and rebellion against the Lord. I begin to think to myself that my failures and shortcoming must disappoint and displease the Lord. My remedy for that is too try harder not to sin. Some days I do pretty good and think, "God must be pleased with me today." Other days, far too many, I fail to live up to my His expectations. Honestly, it feels like there are many more days like that, than the first example.

It can become a vicious cycle of deep introspection, discouragement and the thinking that God must always be disappointed in me.

And that is completely false.

In fact, the opposite is true. God is not disappointed in me. God is not displeased with me. God does not disapprove of me. Why? It is not on the basis of what I do, or what I don't do. It is on the basis of what Jesus has already done for me.

Hebrews 11:6 says that "without faith it is impossible to please God

. The converse of that is faith pleases God. God is pleased with me on the basis of faith. Faith in what? The gospel of Jesus Christ. That gospel is the lens through which God sees me. That gospel proclaims this: there is nothing good in me, and yet God still loved me enough to send Jesus who died for my sins, by faith in Jesus I am justified before God. My approval is based on the cross, not on my successes or failures.

Really, what I am doing when I feel like "God is perpetually disappointed in me" is taking my eyes off of the cross and becoming a bit narcissistic and self focused. That always leads to a negative view, and a wrong view.

I've heard this truth many times, "You can't do anything to make God love you more, or do anything to make Him love you less."

God is not perpetually disappointed in me, He loves me...the cross proves it.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8